I have not posted in the last few months, due to the emotional roller coaster our family has been going through. The end of March my mom called to tell me my Dad was ill and in the hospital, she told us not to come down that he would be fine. He was released and came home, but still did not feel well. The first week in April my mom called and asked me to come down to Florida that he was not doing well. I made arrangements for work and the boys, she calls me back and says you all need to come. We took the boys out of school and went to Florida. I was not at all prepared to see my Dad in the condition he was in, he had lost 50lbs since we had seen him the end of January. The boys walked by him and he asked me who's kids they were, this hit Max especially hard since he is very close to his grandfather.
The day we arrived we found out that we were dealing with cancer which started in the lungs and spread to his liver, my mom and I had him admitted to the local hospital for IV fluids. Our hope was that once he received the fluids his memory and strength would return. My mom, myself and Max went to visit him the next day (Brayden came down with strepp so he and Danny stayed at the house) he did not look any better. My mom told us to go back to Kentucky since there was nothing for us to do and the kids needed to return to school. Against my feelings to stay we did fly home on Thursday and had the kids back to school Friday.
Saturday evening April 11 about midnight my mom called us to say the nurse had called and my dad was not expected to survive the night. This was the worst night of my life, I felt both alone and in shock. Thankgoodness I have a great friend and neighbor Sheri who is also a night owl. I called her and she came right over and was here for me. Sheri took control when I did not realize I needed her to, she said I will take care of your boys and animals and you and Dan go to be with your mom. She was at our house until 1am and then back at 5am so we could catch the earliest flight. I had also called my Dad's sister who lives in Pennsylvania to arrange for her to fly down also. We all met up in Atlanta Easter sunday am and flew to Gainesville where my parents neighbor met us and drove us to the hospital.
Sitting watching my Dad that last day was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Thanks to Sheri and Karen for letting me vent and all of the supportive texts you both sent, they helped me through this difficult time. The hospital staff was terrible, once they found out he was terminal they did nothing for him. We had him moved to Hospice on Sunday afternoon so that he could be with caring people. Since my parents live an hour from the hospital we did not follow them to hospice, but instead said goodbye to my Dad and said we would see him the next day. We did not get that chance, the hospice staffed called at 9am Monday morning to tell us he had passed away. All 4 of us were in shock that he was gone, just 2 months earlier he was walking 2 miles a day and now he was gone.
My first thought was of Max and how would I tell him his Grandpa died. I contacted both Sheri and Karen (she is also Max's teacher) to let them know and that I would tell Max later after school. We all agreed but somehow Max already knew about his grandfather, I guess kids know more than we give them credit for.
I was very worried about Max because he seemed to brush it all off, although we did see a change in his grades at school. If he would see me getting upset Max would ask why are you crying, almost like he didnt think there was a reason to be sad.
We had a memorial service for my Dad this past Saturday June 6. The 4 of us, my mom, aunt and many friends of my parents were in attendance. The church was full which was very nice to see, both my boys were perfect gentlemen and we heard many comments on how well behaved they were. During the service Max wrote down some thoughts he had about his grandfather, he shared them with me afterwards. He wrote My Grandpa was a great man, he served our country in the army and retired from the post office, I miss him very much. I hugged him and told him that grandpa thought he was very special too and one of the last things my dad said was that Max was the best thing that ever happened to our family. Over the next few days Max did breakdown a few times, which I was glad to see since he had been holding everything in. We planted a special tree my parents yard and I told Max that he could talk to grandpa by the tree and he has.
Max is now spending a few weeks in Florida with my mom, he said he wants to help Grandma. I think they are helping each other through all this.
As the weeks go by life is getting a little easier, but there are still rough times but I know they will get better.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
Spring Break
Max has been on spring break all week Unfortunately both Dan and I had to work and Brayden does not have break for another week, so we could not go anywhere. Max did have his appointment with his therapist this week and he thinks he is doing great, so we don't go back for 5 weeks. I think a lot of things are making the difference in him. He is maturing, the medicine he takes is the right one for him, and Tae Kwon do is giving him a positive influence. I was talking to two moms of students at Tae Kwon do tonight, one has know Max since we adopted him and the other just met him. The one that just met him was commenting on how quickly he has picked the new form up, the second Mom commented on how far he has come in 5 years. She first met him at age 5 when her husband coached him in T-Ball. Max really enjoyed T-Ball, but one thing his coach forgot to tell everyone was that Max did not understand English. They would call out instructions to him and he would stand there, or pick flowers. It took several weeks before they realized he really had no clue what they were saying. Now these people also understood the obstacles Max had to overcome. Even though I have been watching this child learn Tae Kwon do for over a year now, it still amazes me on how quickly he picks things up. Tonight they were breaking boards (not wood, but re breakable boards), I was a nervous wreck. He went right up there threw a sidekick and the board went flying. The smile on his face was priceless, this is what he has been waiting for and now he gets to do it. He tests for his Senior Blue belt next week and I know he will pass. He has not only impressed me, but also his instructor with abilities.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The first year
When we brought Max home from Russia he was fluent in Russian only. This was the first obstacle of many that we have had to overcome. I purchased language CD's before our first trip and was able to learn enough Russian to get by. He learned English much quicker than I was learning Russian. I was able to take 1 month off work when he first came home, this allowed him to adjust a little before having to attend daycare.
The first daycare he attended was very understanding about his unique situation. They even contacted NKU to try and find a Russian speaking student to come work with him. Unfortunately nobody was interested in helping this child learn English. When Max would ask for something I would ask him to show me, then tell him what it was in English. Within six months he had a good grasp on speaking English. Due to scheduling issues we were forced to send him to a different daycare after just a few months. The new daycare only lasted a few weeks, when one day I got a call at work telling me to get him immediately. When I arrived I found my son crying under the desk in the front office. The director tells me that he would not do what they asked so they restrained him. When that didn't work they dragged him down the stairs to the office, since he was holding the handrail and would not walk. I was so angry but my priority was to get him out of there. I called the head office to complain but was given a big run around.
Max was kicked out of 4 day cares over a 2 year span, they just did not know how to handle him. During this time I consulted his primary Doctor about the behavior, he recommended taking him to a therapist for testing. We did this, but his understanding of English was so limited that I was not sure how we could get accurate results. What she came up with was that Max has ADHD and RAD. RAD is reactive attachment disorder, it is most common in children adopted from Eastern Europe. It is caused by the lack of bonding in the first 2 years of a child's life. It can affect a child one of 2 ways, 1 they have trouble bonding with people (making and keeping friends), or 2 they bond with anyone and use actions that are not appropriate at certain times. Max has the second one. One time I was filling the car with gas and a man who I didn't know held the door for us, Max ran over and hugged him.
Max started Kindergarten just 8 months after leaving the orphanage, this opened a whole new chapter for him. We were very fortunate that he was assigned a wonderful teacher and assistant teacher. They both went out of their way to help Max adjust to attending school. When the traditional behavior program did not work, they implemented a straw system. The teacher would have 2 baggies on her board, one with a smile and one with a frown. I think she started him with 5 straws and if he did not follow a rule then a straw was moved to the frown bag. His entire class would try and help him keep his straws for the day, if he kept just 1 in the smile bag then he got a prize.It took most of the year but eventually he kept straws in the smile bag. There were many times that Max could not handle being in the classroom, during these times the assistant teacher would take him to run errands. He loved this since it made him feel special, and they did think he was special and still do.
We made it through kindergarten, although he still was overcoming the language barrier and had allot of trouble with his ABC's. After a rough year in 1st grade, the school and our family decided it would be in his best interest to repeat 1st grade. This was the best decision for him, it allowed him to mature and understand what was expected of him. While in Kindergarten Max started his weekly therapy session to work through everything he went through the first 5 years. Max is now on his 5Th therapist who he has been seeing for 2 1/2 years. It took a long time but we finally found a DR that understands Max and the way Max thinks.
Max is now in the third grade and is doing very well. He no longer has outbursts or trouble following classroom rules. He still struggles with his reading, but is making good progress this year. We are very fortunate that the school Max attends has a wonderful teaching staff. He is now in his 5Th year at this school and has had several "special teachers", teachers that have taken the time to get to know Max and what methods allow him to do his best. We will never be able to thank these "special ladies"enough for all they have done for Max. In a few short months our younger son Brayden will be attending the same school and I know he will have the best teachers out there. Max has paved that rough road, so that Brayden can have a smooth ride through school.
The first daycare he attended was very understanding about his unique situation. They even contacted NKU to try and find a Russian speaking student to come work with him. Unfortunately nobody was interested in helping this child learn English. When Max would ask for something I would ask him to show me, then tell him what it was in English. Within six months he had a good grasp on speaking English. Due to scheduling issues we were forced to send him to a different daycare after just a few months. The new daycare only lasted a few weeks, when one day I got a call at work telling me to get him immediately. When I arrived I found my son crying under the desk in the front office. The director tells me that he would not do what they asked so they restrained him. When that didn't work they dragged him down the stairs to the office, since he was holding the handrail and would not walk. I was so angry but my priority was to get him out of there. I called the head office to complain but was given a big run around.
Max was kicked out of 4 day cares over a 2 year span, they just did not know how to handle him. During this time I consulted his primary Doctor about the behavior, he recommended taking him to a therapist for testing. We did this, but his understanding of English was so limited that I was not sure how we could get accurate results. What she came up with was that Max has ADHD and RAD. RAD is reactive attachment disorder, it is most common in children adopted from Eastern Europe. It is caused by the lack of bonding in the first 2 years of a child's life. It can affect a child one of 2 ways, 1 they have trouble bonding with people (making and keeping friends), or 2 they bond with anyone and use actions that are not appropriate at certain times. Max has the second one. One time I was filling the car with gas and a man who I didn't know held the door for us, Max ran over and hugged him.
Max started Kindergarten just 8 months after leaving the orphanage, this opened a whole new chapter for him. We were very fortunate that he was assigned a wonderful teacher and assistant teacher. They both went out of their way to help Max adjust to attending school. When the traditional behavior program did not work, they implemented a straw system. The teacher would have 2 baggies on her board, one with a smile and one with a frown. I think she started him with 5 straws and if he did not follow a rule then a straw was moved to the frown bag. His entire class would try and help him keep his straws for the day, if he kept just 1 in the smile bag then he got a prize.It took most of the year but eventually he kept straws in the smile bag. There were many times that Max could not handle being in the classroom, during these times the assistant teacher would take him to run errands. He loved this since it made him feel special, and they did think he was special and still do.
We made it through kindergarten, although he still was overcoming the language barrier and had allot of trouble with his ABC's. After a rough year in 1st grade, the school and our family decided it would be in his best interest to repeat 1st grade. This was the best decision for him, it allowed him to mature and understand what was expected of him. While in Kindergarten Max started his weekly therapy session to work through everything he went through the first 5 years. Max is now on his 5Th therapist who he has been seeing for 2 1/2 years. It took a long time but we finally found a DR that understands Max and the way Max thinks.
Max is now in the third grade and is doing very well. He no longer has outbursts or trouble following classroom rules. He still struggles with his reading, but is making good progress this year. We are very fortunate that the school Max attends has a wonderful teaching staff. He is now in his 5Th year at this school and has had several "special teachers", teachers that have taken the time to get to know Max and what methods allow him to do his best. We will never be able to thank these "special ladies"enough for all they have done for Max. In a few short months our younger son Brayden will be attending the same school and I know he will have the best teachers out there. Max has paved that rough road, so that Brayden can have a smooth ride through school.
Bringing Max home
Two weeks later and the week of Thanksgiving 2003, we are on our way back to Russia to pick up our new son. Our lives were about to change forever, it would no longer be just the two of us but we would now be responsible for a 4 1/2 year old.
Once again our driver Sasha was waiting for us, but this time we had many more bags with us. Most of our luggage contained donations that would not be returning with us, plus clothes for our new son. Russians do not drive the large sport utility cars that we have here, the cars are for the most part small similar to the Corolla but very old. Needless to say our American size luggage would not all fit in the trunk so the backseat became the storage for the luggage. We made the long 3 1/2 hour drive to Vladimir to Galina's apartment and our home for the next week.
It was the same routine on trip 2, make many stops before getting to visit Max. We also had to carry a large sum of cash with us to Russia, bills had to be new with no creases or marks. Finally we were back at the Vladimir city orphanage, this time Max ran to us when he saw us. He was also carrying all the items we had left with him 2 weeks before. His caretaker told us that the photo album with pictures of his new home, pets, and family never left his hands. This child was ready to leave the life of an orphan, but we first had to plead our case in Russian court.
Three days later on Thanksgiving day we were dressed in our Sunday best headed for Russian court. The orphanage director came to give her blessing on the adoption (we were told the director does not always attend court). We were taken into a very small room that resembled a courtroom but at a much smaller scale. There were 2 people on either side, similar to our prosecutor and defending attorney, a court reporter and in walked the judge. She looked like she was about 12, but not friendly looking at all. Behind us we had the orphanage director, a social worker, and Marina's boss from the adoption center, Marina was next to us to translate. We just did whatever she told us, and when asked questions faced the judge even though we were actually speaking to Marina. They went over his story about why he came to the Orphanage and determined that the connection to his biological family had been lost may years before. Marina had prepared me to answer the difficult questions, well the judge decided that Danny would be answering. When we asked why she said she wanted to hear the husbands opinion this time. I ended up quietly telling him what to say, because of course he had not listened to the conversation on how to answer that Marina and I had the night before. It seemed to be going well, then it was time to ask her to wave the mandatory 10 day waiting period. If this is not waived then you and the child must stay in the city to bond under the watchful eye of the Russian officials for 10 days before they allow you to take the child out of the country. We stated that he needed to be seen by a US medical doctor due to a few minor issues he had, plus he needed to be prepared to start school.
The hearing was over and we were sent outside to wait the decision. This took maybe 20 minutes, but seemed like hours. We were brought back to the courtroom, where the judge read many things which we understood none of it. The only part we understood was when Marina said congratulations Maksim is your son. We did not find out till later that the judge had also waived the waiting period so that we could return home in just a few days.
We had many places to go to get all the papers made official, His new Russian birth certificate with our names as parents and his new American last name, plus the adoption certificate had to be made official. A few hours later we were at the orphanage to pick up our son, he came running in with all of his possessions in tow and would not let go of us. We told him you never have to let go now. We spent some time with his group to allow him to say his goodbye's, the director kept thanking us when we should have been thanking her. We left the orphanage with our son, we were both happy and sad. It was very sad leaving all these children behind that only wanted what Max now had.
His first night with us we were lucky to have Galina, she could communicate with him to explain things to him and she even read him a book before bed. We showed him his new clothes which made him very excited, but what shocked us was his excitement over his own toothbrush. I am hoping they didn't share a toothbrush but this made me think they did. The next morning we woke up as a family and had to say our goodbye's to our new Russian friends Marina and Galina. They are both very special women and have helped so many children find permanent homes, they will always have a special place in our hearts. We made the long drive to Moscow with a child that had not ridden in a car in a very longtime. He would not move from the window and everything was new to him. We were taken to an apartment in Moscow, the home of another translator who was not at all like our Vladimir friends. We spent the weekend there since we had to wait until Monday to go to the American embassy to get his paperwork to enter the US. I had to almost beg her to show us Moscow, after all who knew if we would ever return to Russia.
Monday morning we headed out early to take Max to a Dr for his required physical, this was really a joke and more of a way for them to get more money from us. The next stop was the US Embassy, there were long lines of Russians trying to get US Visa's. We just walked up showed the US passports and went right in....felt great to be an American. We filed all the paperwork to get his approval to enter the US with us and were told to return for our interview appointment after lunch. When we came back the room was filled with families just like us, and we even met a family from Cleveland that had adopted a boy from Max's group in Vladimir so the boys were very excited to see each other. Finally we were called for our interview and given "the packet" that would allow him into the US. We were now free to take him home, which happened the next day.
We arrived at the airport very early and of course our flight was cancelled, here we were stuck in a strange airport with a child we could not communicate with for hours. Max found the escalators to be a source of entertainment. During our delay we relied on fellow passengers that spoke Russian to communicate with our new son. The fondest memory I have of this day is when I bought Max a bag of candy and before eating any he went to each of the people we had been talking to and offered some to them. This is his way today, those that know him would agree. Finally we were on a flight to New York, we were only able to get 2 seats together so Danny and I traded off sitting with Max. This was the longest flight of my life, I had always seen kids acting up on flights and running down the aisles and said that will never be my child. Well this day it was my child, he was screaming, kicking me, biting me, you name it he did it. He also refused to put the seat belt on. When I asked the flight attendant to have the Russian speaking flight attendant come explain to him that he had to wear it, she says to him in ENGLISH little boy you have to wear the seat belt. I could have done that, luckily there was a nice Russian woman across the aisle who spoke to him which calmed him a little. Everyone cheered when the plane landed and I suspect it was that they would soon be free of this very vocal Russian boy soon. Max was now a citizen of the US, we got through Immigration fairly quick and off to find our flight to Cincinnati. We were again separated but this time Danny took Max, who finally slept on the 2 hour flight from New York to Cincinnati. We landed at CVG and our family was home, exhausted but happy. Max had never been in a car seat so this presented a new adventure...getting this child buckled in for the short ride home. Again he scratched, bit and screamed, but we finally got him buckled in and he settled right down. We arrived home where he met his furry brothers and sisters ( we have 4 dogs), he must have really been tired because he did not pay any attention to them. We showed him his new room and everyone got some much needed sleep. That was almost 6 years ago, we have had many ups and downs in the past six year. His diagnosis of Adhd and Rad has brought the biggest challenge, but we deal with day by day.
Once again our driver Sasha was waiting for us, but this time we had many more bags with us. Most of our luggage contained donations that would not be returning with us, plus clothes for our new son. Russians do not drive the large sport utility cars that we have here, the cars are for the most part small similar to the Corolla but very old. Needless to say our American size luggage would not all fit in the trunk so the backseat became the storage for the luggage. We made the long 3 1/2 hour drive to Vladimir to Galina's apartment and our home for the next week.
It was the same routine on trip 2, make many stops before getting to visit Max. We also had to carry a large sum of cash with us to Russia, bills had to be new with no creases or marks. Finally we were back at the Vladimir city orphanage, this time Max ran to us when he saw us. He was also carrying all the items we had left with him 2 weeks before. His caretaker told us that the photo album with pictures of his new home, pets, and family never left his hands. This child was ready to leave the life of an orphan, but we first had to plead our case in Russian court.
Three days later on Thanksgiving day we were dressed in our Sunday best headed for Russian court. The orphanage director came to give her blessing on the adoption (we were told the director does not always attend court). We were taken into a very small room that resembled a courtroom but at a much smaller scale. There were 2 people on either side, similar to our prosecutor and defending attorney, a court reporter and in walked the judge. She looked like she was about 12, but not friendly looking at all. Behind us we had the orphanage director, a social worker, and Marina's boss from the adoption center, Marina was next to us to translate. We just did whatever she told us, and when asked questions faced the judge even though we were actually speaking to Marina. They went over his story about why he came to the Orphanage and determined that the connection to his biological family had been lost may years before. Marina had prepared me to answer the difficult questions, well the judge decided that Danny would be answering. When we asked why she said she wanted to hear the husbands opinion this time. I ended up quietly telling him what to say, because of course he had not listened to the conversation on how to answer that Marina and I had the night before. It seemed to be going well, then it was time to ask her to wave the mandatory 10 day waiting period. If this is not waived then you and the child must stay in the city to bond under the watchful eye of the Russian officials for 10 days before they allow you to take the child out of the country. We stated that he needed to be seen by a US medical doctor due to a few minor issues he had, plus he needed to be prepared to start school.
The hearing was over and we were sent outside to wait the decision. This took maybe 20 minutes, but seemed like hours. We were brought back to the courtroom, where the judge read many things which we understood none of it. The only part we understood was when Marina said congratulations Maksim is your son. We did not find out till later that the judge had also waived the waiting period so that we could return home in just a few days.
We had many places to go to get all the papers made official, His new Russian birth certificate with our names as parents and his new American last name, plus the adoption certificate had to be made official. A few hours later we were at the orphanage to pick up our son, he came running in with all of his possessions in tow and would not let go of us. We told him you never have to let go now. We spent some time with his group to allow him to say his goodbye's, the director kept thanking us when we should have been thanking her. We left the orphanage with our son, we were both happy and sad. It was very sad leaving all these children behind that only wanted what Max now had.
His first night with us we were lucky to have Galina, she could communicate with him to explain things to him and she even read him a book before bed. We showed him his new clothes which made him very excited, but what shocked us was his excitement over his own toothbrush. I am hoping they didn't share a toothbrush but this made me think they did. The next morning we woke up as a family and had to say our goodbye's to our new Russian friends Marina and Galina. They are both very special women and have helped so many children find permanent homes, they will always have a special place in our hearts. We made the long drive to Moscow with a child that had not ridden in a car in a very longtime. He would not move from the window and everything was new to him. We were taken to an apartment in Moscow, the home of another translator who was not at all like our Vladimir friends. We spent the weekend there since we had to wait until Monday to go to the American embassy to get his paperwork to enter the US. I had to almost beg her to show us Moscow, after all who knew if we would ever return to Russia.
Monday morning we headed out early to take Max to a Dr for his required physical, this was really a joke and more of a way for them to get more money from us. The next stop was the US Embassy, there were long lines of Russians trying to get US Visa's. We just walked up showed the US passports and went right in....felt great to be an American. We filed all the paperwork to get his approval to enter the US with us and were told to return for our interview appointment after lunch. When we came back the room was filled with families just like us, and we even met a family from Cleveland that had adopted a boy from Max's group in Vladimir so the boys were very excited to see each other. Finally we were called for our interview and given "the packet" that would allow him into the US. We were now free to take him home, which happened the next day.
We arrived at the airport very early and of course our flight was cancelled, here we were stuck in a strange airport with a child we could not communicate with for hours. Max found the escalators to be a source of entertainment. During our delay we relied on fellow passengers that spoke Russian to communicate with our new son. The fondest memory I have of this day is when I bought Max a bag of candy and before eating any he went to each of the people we had been talking to and offered some to them. This is his way today, those that know him would agree. Finally we were on a flight to New York, we were only able to get 2 seats together so Danny and I traded off sitting with Max. This was the longest flight of my life, I had always seen kids acting up on flights and running down the aisles and said that will never be my child. Well this day it was my child, he was screaming, kicking me, biting me, you name it he did it. He also refused to put the seat belt on. When I asked the flight attendant to have the Russian speaking flight attendant come explain to him that he had to wear it, she says to him in ENGLISH little boy you have to wear the seat belt. I could have done that, luckily there was a nice Russian woman across the aisle who spoke to him which calmed him a little. Everyone cheered when the plane landed and I suspect it was that they would soon be free of this very vocal Russian boy soon. Max was now a citizen of the US, we got through Immigration fairly quick and off to find our flight to Cincinnati. We were again separated but this time Danny took Max, who finally slept on the 2 hour flight from New York to Cincinnati. We landed at CVG and our family was home, exhausted but happy. Max had never been in a car seat so this presented a new adventure...getting this child buckled in for the short ride home. Again he scratched, bit and screamed, but we finally got him buckled in and he settled right down. We arrived home where he met his furry brothers and sisters ( we have 4 dogs), he must have really been tired because he did not pay any attention to them. We showed him his new room and everyone got some much needed sleep. That was almost 6 years ago, we have had many ups and downs in the past six year. His diagnosis of Adhd and Rad has brought the biggest challenge, but we deal with day by day.
The day we have waited so many months for had finally arrived. Galina had made an awesome breakfast, but of course we could not eat since we had so many emotions happening at once. Marina came about 9am to pick us up and I am thinking we would go straight to his orphanage. I was very wrong, there are many official things you must do before meeting your potential child. We had to hand our passports over to someone we had just met about 12 hours ago, so that she could register us with the region. Next stop was the adoption center, they handle all adoptions in this region both by foreigners and Russian citizens. We were left in a hallway for what seemed hours, kept watching the same women walking in and out of offices giving us strange looks every time they walked by. Finally it was time to leave, we were thinking it was another business stop. We drive down this area that reminded me of our low income areas, to a run down building that has a fence around the property. This was the Vladimir city orphanage, hidden away from everyone almost like they were keeping it a secret. We walk in and were greeted by several children in mismatched clothing, they asked Marina who we were there to see. The children all know Marina and when she has "Americans" with her they are taking someone to America. This is both exciting and sad for them, excited for their friend but sad for themselves.
We were taken into a room that looked like a living room and were left there alone. Marina is going to bring "our son" to meet us. I heard his little voice about a minute before we saw him. The first time I saw Max he looked so tiny compared to what I expected. The pictures we had seen made him look like he was the size of a healthy 4 year old. He was very tiny and his skin was almost translucent, almost sickly looking. He came in holding Marina's hand and she asked if he should call us Momma and Papa, What do you say? We said sure, So he comes over and gives us both a big hug and turns to Marina and in Russian says I am going to America with them on an Airplane. To my knowledge, neither America or Airplanes were ever mentioned to him. We spent about 2 hours with him, we had brought him some special toys that we played with. The orphanage director and assistant went over what details about his life that they had, over an afternoon tea. We were so busy spending time with Max that we forgot to take pictures, Thank goodness Marina said something and we did get some. After the director told us about Max she asked if we still wanted him, I don't like to compare this to the animal shelter but that is what it felt like. This was a very crazy question, we had spent months looking at his picture and fixing up his room and she was asking if we still wanted him. Over the next few days we were able to spend a few hours a day with him and even were able to take him away from the orphanage. He really warmed up to us quickly, and we were all crying the day we said goodbye for 2 weeks. Russia required 2 trips, first one is for 4 days to meet the child so the officials can watch you and see that the child bonds with the family. The second trip can be anywhere from 2 to 6 weeks later, so you must leave your child there. Ours was just 2 weeks but we had to come home and take care of things before returning to Russia.
We were taken into a room that looked like a living room and were left there alone. Marina is going to bring "our son" to meet us. I heard his little voice about a minute before we saw him. The first time I saw Max he looked so tiny compared to what I expected. The pictures we had seen made him look like he was the size of a healthy 4 year old. He was very tiny and his skin was almost translucent, almost sickly looking. He came in holding Marina's hand and she asked if he should call us Momma and Papa, What do you say? We said sure, So he comes over and gives us both a big hug and turns to Marina and in Russian says I am going to America with them on an Airplane. To my knowledge, neither America or Airplanes were ever mentioned to him. We spent about 2 hours with him, we had brought him some special toys that we played with. The orphanage director and assistant went over what details about his life that they had, over an afternoon tea. We were so busy spending time with Max that we forgot to take pictures, Thank goodness Marina said something and we did get some. After the director told us about Max she asked if we still wanted him, I don't like to compare this to the animal shelter but that is what it felt like. This was a very crazy question, we had spent months looking at his picture and fixing up his room and she was asking if we still wanted him. Over the next few days we were able to spend a few hours a day with him and even were able to take him away from the orphanage. He really warmed up to us quickly, and we were all crying the day we said goodbye for 2 weeks. Russia required 2 trips, first one is for 4 days to meet the child so the officials can watch you and see that the child bonds with the family. The second trip can be anywhere from 2 to 6 weeks later, so you must leave your child there. Ours was just 2 weeks but we had to come home and take care of things before returning to Russia.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
The Beginning
Welcome to the Brooks blog!
We are Dan and Sue Brooks and this is our families story. In early 2003 after 9 years of marriage we decided to adopt a child. Our reason for adoption was to give a loving home to a child that really needed one. After much research we decided against a domestic adoption, there was a lot of publicity about biological parents getting their kids back many years later and I could not go through that.
Why Russia? Honestly, I was researching online and saw a picture of an adorable blonde hair, blue eyed boy who was an orphan in Russia. I knew almost immediately that this was "MY SON". After months and mounds of paperwork, the Russian adoption officials approved us to adopt one of their children. We waited patiently for "THE CALL" that would tell us we had dates to visit our new son. I received this call while I was at work and I could not contain myself, we were traveling to Russia in 2 weeks.
The next 2 weeks were very crazy, thankfully both of our employers were very accommodating when it came time to travel. We were given a list of people we had to bring gifts to, How do you buy a gift for someone you have never met? I bought allot of scarves, photo albums, and bath and body works items.
The flight to Moscow Russia was only 8 1/2 hours from New York, but it seemed like forever. We landed in this unfamiliar country, with little knowledge of the language and were to be met by someone who we did not know or could not communicate with. We managed to find our driver Sasha who drove us 3 1/2 hrs to the city where our son was. This drive was quite an adventure, Russians drive very fast and the cars have no seat belts. Our driver made just one stop at a roadside market of sorts, they sold winter coats, large stuffed animals, and every type of gun you can imagine. We made it to Vladimir safely and were taken to a small apartment where our host Galina was waiting. Galina was a very sweet young woman who spoke very limited English, but was an excellent cook. Her sister Marina was our Translator, who we soon met.
Marina greeted the two of us who were exhausted, at this point we had been awake about 36 hours. She announced that Maksim knew we were here and was waiting for us. I was both excited and nervous about the meeting so we did not sleep very well.
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