The first year

When we brought Max home from Russia he was fluent in Russian only. This was the first obstacle of many that we have had to overcome. I purchased language CD's before our first trip and was able to learn enough Russian to get by. He learned English much quicker than I was learning Russian. I was able to take 1 month off work when he first came home, this allowed him to adjust a little before having to attend daycare.
The first daycare he attended was very understanding about his unique situation. They even contacted NKU to try and find a Russian speaking student to come work with him. Unfortunately nobody was interested in helping this child learn English. When Max would ask for something I would ask him to show me, then tell him what it was in English. Within six months he had a good grasp on speaking English. Due to scheduling issues we were forced to send him to a different daycare after just a few months. The new daycare only lasted a few weeks, when one day I got a call at work telling me to get him immediately. When I arrived I found my son crying under the desk in the front office. The director tells me that he would not do what they asked so they restrained him. When that didn't work they dragged him down the stairs to the office, since he was holding the handrail and would not walk. I was so angry but my priority was to get him out of there. I called the head office to complain but was given a big run around.
Max was kicked out of 4 day cares over a 2 year span, they just did not know how to handle him. During this time I consulted his primary Doctor about the behavior, he recommended taking him to a therapist for testing. We did this, but his understanding of English was so limited that I was not sure how we could get accurate results. What she came up with was that Max has ADHD and RAD. RAD is reactive attachment disorder, it is most common in children adopted from Eastern Europe. It is caused by the lack of bonding in the first 2 years of a child's life. It can affect a child one of 2 ways, 1 they have trouble bonding with people (making and keeping friends), or 2 they bond with anyone and use actions that are not appropriate at certain times. Max has the second one. One time I was filling the car with gas and a man who I didn't know held the door for us, Max ran over and hugged him.
Max started Kindergarten just 8 months after leaving the orphanage, this opened a whole new chapter for him. We were very fortunate that he was assigned a wonderful teacher and assistant teacher. They both went out of their way to help Max adjust to attending school. When the traditional behavior program did not work, they implemented a straw system. The teacher would have 2 baggies on her board, one with a smile and one with a frown. I think she started him with 5 straws and if he did not follow a rule then a straw was moved to the frown bag. His entire class would try and help him keep his straws for the day, if he kept just 1 in the smile bag then he got a prize.It took most of the year but eventually he kept straws in the smile bag. There were many times that Max could not handle being in the classroom, during these times the assistant teacher would take him to run errands. He loved this since it made him feel special, and they did think he was special and still do.
We made it through kindergarten, although he still was overcoming the language barrier and had allot of trouble with his ABC's. After a rough year in 1st grade, the school and our family decided it would be in his best interest to repeat 1st grade. This was the best decision for him, it allowed him to mature and understand what was expected of him. While in Kindergarten Max started his weekly therapy session to work through everything he went through the first 5 years. Max is now on his 5Th therapist who he has been seeing for 2 1/2 years. It took a long time but we finally found a DR that understands Max and the way Max thinks.
Max is now in the third grade and is doing very well. He no longer has outbursts or trouble following classroom rules. He still struggles with his reading, but is making good progress this year. We are very fortunate that the school Max attends has a wonderful teaching staff. He is now in his 5Th year at this school and has had several "special teachers", teachers that have taken the time to get to know Max and what methods allow him to do his best. We will never be able to thank these "special ladies"enough for all they have done for Max. In a few short months our younger son Brayden will be attending the same school and I know he will have the best teachers out there. Max has paved that rough road, so that Brayden can have a smooth ride through school.